Sometimes being a parent can be discouraging. I, for one, have always been very diligent about teaching Cameron new things. You know, things kids are supposed to be learning like words, shapes, colors, counting, body part names, etc etc. I tried teaching him baby signs for six plus months before he finally consistently used one. Here's what's discouraging: Cameron never learns from me, at least he acts like he doesn't, and seems to learn everything from either Tyler or TV shows. In fact, he is VERY receptive to both! The other day I was in the kitchen when I heard him in the next room count to five with Dora. I was amazed! I told Tyler and he says, "Oh yeah, we've been working on counting." Mind you this was only my second week of work which meant Tyler had only spent about 2 or 3 periods of 4 hours each alone with him. And in that time he learned how to count, more or less, to 10 on his fingers. What?! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to see Cameron learn and am seeing it may be a blessing that he and Tyler have time alone together now. But it can be discouraging to feel that no matter your efforts, your child seems to be deaf and dumb regarding what you specifically are trying to teach him. It's probably only just the beginning.
And here's what else: disciplining. No matter what the bad habit, when I try to discipline Cameron he only does in more! It's been the case with almost everything, with hitting, biting, swinging pictures on the wall, and now screaming. The more I try to curb a naughty habit the more he does it. And believe me, I've tried plenty of methods. For example, he has been screaming very loud lately and I am trying to help him realize he can't scream inside, and tonight I started more diligently enforcing the new rule. So what does he do? Screams on and off for the first 50 minutes of Wall-E. So how has he stopped other bad habits? I have finally just ignored them and looked like a bad parent in the process. Nice. I wonder what all this is going to mean when it comes to potty training???
So what do I do about all this? Pray that my next baby will be a sweet, receptive and communicative little girl!
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11 comments:
Tucker is the same way about a lot of things. It really scares me when I think about the teenage years! Maybe it's just that strong-willed little boy personality. I'm sorry! If you come up with any other answers, let me know!
I also taught him how to eat marshmallows, chocolate chips, and the finer side of WWF wrestling techniques! Truth be told, Mindy teaches things to Cameron and he just shows his skills to me. She is the best mom in the world!
It's true parenting can be very frustrating. And it's true that both parents interact differently with and receive different responses from each child. Don't get too discouraged, a lot of things like the screaming will just pass with time.
I know with Owen we made a big deal out of encouraging "screaming is for outside and the park." But I don't remember what we did to actively discourage the screaming that happened inside. But he's over it now.
Keep up the good work.
i'm with Ty Ty, i really only teach my kids the bad stuff and then mom has to correct all of dad's mistakes.
-james
That is funny and sad. I can tell you are discouraged, but I agree with Tyler that he is learning all the time from you and just "comes out with it" when you aren't looking. You are a great mom and I know you've got the strength and love to do this big task! You are great!!!!
Sounds just like Tate! Tate's scream is often a high-pitched one that we wish only the dogs could hear. When it's lower, I sometimes yell with him and try to match his pitch. It takes away some of the stress b/c I do think it's just a stage and will run it's course. Also, he stops quicker when I do it with him.
Also, seriously, that praying for number two to be sweet and perfect works!!!
Hang in there Mindy. I don't really know what to tell you but to just have faith in knowing that each kid has their own different personalities and your next kid will probably be really sweet and receptive, like you said. Do your best, which i'm sure you are!
You are both good parents. Really praise the things Cameron does well. Positive reinforcement on the good things does works much better than focusing on the things you want to change.
Keep up the good work.
I know other people have already said this to you, but I really think that with a lot of kids they are learning, but it just takes them a long time to actually show what they've learned. So I think Cameron's been learning from both of you...but he's just starting to show things now. :) The same thing happened to my friend.
As for disciplining...I have no advice. It's hard. Everyone just needs to figure out what works best for them and their kids. (And unfortunately each kid is different too..) But don't worry about what other people think of you...I've had many a tantrum thrown in a store (or library) that I've ignored and gotten mean looks...but it worked for my kids. :)
You're a great mom Mindy! Don't forget!
Ahh... that wonderful stage of development called "push the limits." Sadly to say, it probably will never end. It makes you want to throw the towel in sometimes, and just let your kid do whatever he wants, because he seems to anyways, right?
Truth be told, on the discipline issue, he is testing you. He does exactly what you are trying to get him NOT to do just to get a reaction out of you and to see if you will be consistent. All I can say about that is to pick your battles. You can either: 1- ignore it, and he will stop on his own because you aren't reacting anymore, or 2- take away privileges that will really get his attention and teach him that if he wants his movie turned back on, he has to stop screaming (or whatever you choose to take away). Who knows, it may work or may not but is worth a try, and the key is consistency (it works wonders with Aspen, but Madi is a WHOLE nother ballgame!!).
SOOO frustrating when you work and work on something, and the minute you turn your back, they do it for Daddy. I totally feel for you, sister! All I can say is to keep up the good work, because you are an amazing Mommy! The little stinker may be learning how to push your buttons a little early. :)
Love you! Kim
Amen to that! Max listens to Mike SOO much better! And how much fun Florida looks! I've heard Miami is one of the most beautiful cities in America.
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